sssssssad old me showed up with wet hair like it didn't matter and i didn't care

you know waht i mean though like in the sense that

it's not like i have any hair so i can't exactly show up somewhere with wet hair and in that sense the song is a commentary on hair as this thing that can hhhhhhfgget accumulated and it can accumulate to the point of still being wet by the time you get to some kind of place from your apartment like it's a sign of you having gone through all kinds of

you know when a thought just has to end like you can just tell with some of these sentences that they don't need

to find a resolution is how i would've ended that sentence but i wanted to be cheeky and maintain the

whole thing of

like not finishing uhhhhh but i am finishing them i guess there you have an example of uhh i guess this phenomenon where while you're writing you gotta finish your thought or else

you know like or else what though like really what happens

web does it really matter if each thoght gets finished and seen through to its conclusion and the spiderweb is formed and it's big enough and strong enough to carry dew and it just drips right off there

and the web being the wet hair of the spider like he ee eee e showed up with wet hair uhhmmm the spider did in the sense that uhhh it’s still uhhh

yeah you know they can’t all be winners, all these thoughts that i have

talked to j-- about how i’m a very autonomous independent person to the point where it's like oh oh my god okay yeah ouh oh wow you know

and i wonder if anyone in my famliy knows that i am this way even outside of them or do they think i'm somehow functionally broken or am i somehow not fully working and operational, or what do the people around me really even think of me you know what i mean what do they even think do they think anything at all do they do they not, these are the questions i have in mind, these are the questions

and i wonder am i fuckign things up somehow am i fucking it all up or what's going on

no today i felt like i was fucking things down you know i felt like i was doinggggg a good day today it felt like a good ass day to be honest with you just letting magic happen wherever i went wherever it took me nnnnnever the twain shall meet and stuff like that

reading plays by moliere and stuff just enjoying my time in [city] on the train, talking to o----, doing rehearsal with l---- and a---, on the train, listening to music, shopping at the thrift seeing nothing worth getting, talking on the phone with insurance, thinking about getting my flu shot, getting impeded by the whole insurance thing

j-- saying that a lot of people in life get a rise out of sharing with people the things they've done and that's not really something i do, it's not something i really do because i think i find it boring like am i really ever doing anything worth sharing with people

people have this inherent inkling toward theater. we all just sort of love it don't we?

it's some combination of public speaking and also art and it feels like there are real stakes. some plays are about life and death and some are about raising up women to be stupid so they never leave you but getting thwarted in some way and the other guys just call it providenc

it was a good day like i said and it’s just so nice to not have to go to work it genuinely makes things so much better in life like right now going into this day tomrorow i’m just like holy crap i really have free rein basically to do whatever i want

employed god firbobiriiiddd you read me here at my lowest point, at my most naked at my most laid bare i hope you don't find this and if you do that you don't fault me for it, i swear i was onto something in my time i was ahead of my time people didn't fully get me but i'm sure you guys do in the future where there's posterity of what happened to us

and yeah it is fuck donald trump so like if you needed me to say that for posterity’s sake then there you go

and if the possibility has come true that nobody is reading this in the future and it’ssssss going to passsssss into obscurity like everything else, then fuck it, i’m okay with it and i’m happier for having this moment just be one with me myself and i, and i’ll always remember it, the smell of my deodorant mixing with the smell of the pillowowowwo and that little visual of a bird looking straight at me you know like beak pointed at me and shit like that, i’ll always remember the moment even if nobody else ever knows about it. but i know. i'm still here in this moment, and if i know about it then that’s more mroem orem ormeor eormeo than enough more than i could ever ask for