• things wrong with S------ today:
- poor ------- ------ on
---- scan
- hyper---- in the ----
- (but low suspicion for ----)
- low hematocrit → transfusion
- granulation tissue around
tube insertion site
- upper GI bloody secretions
- brady/desat event, sounded
“stridulous”
- pH low, CO2 low, HCO3 really high,
K+ extremely low
- surgery team not concerned,
deferred to us
- poor weight gain
- TFL goal ---, saw much less
- getting abx for ---- wound
- on anticoagulant
- agitated this AM, secretions,
tense belly
- “various thrombi”
- making ungodly scratchy
huffing sounds right now
• literally getting a chill down my spine of disgust hearing Dr. S---- even start talking about this baby cuz she's just making excuses and staying the course. saying he was having bloody secretions because he's getting “moved around so much” you fucking villain. does it not bother you that a BABY is not able to be MOVED AROUND without bleeding? this shit is literally just fucking villainous and it makes me sick I don't want to participate anymore.
• professionalism = mental illness = folie à tout like this is genuinely horrific
• just had a cry break and need to check in w myself here in the hallway about whether I can go back in. I think I can. yes, I can. so here we go.
• Well would you look
at that. Vindication over
my concern about the
output. the specialists said they’re fucking
concerned and might want to
keep baby here longer. so I
WAS being gaslit yesterday. fuck this
attending bro she sneaky sucks
- it's not worth it it's not worth it it's not worth it. the ‘good’ outcomes. It's not fucking worth it. the whole american experiment… western civ… it's not worth it
I sat next to one of the
twins while 'e was getting
bottle fed by the nurse and
just fully entranced by the
scene. 'e had almost finished
the bottle when we finished
talking about em and had to
move on in rounds. the nurse
asked me if I wanted to
feed em, as if reading my
mind (I’d been thinking of
asking but wasn’t going to). I
said yes wait can I? and
she laughed and was like have
you fed a baby before? I said
no, and she said then no,
and laughed again. she said
“you watch me today then
come back and do it tomorrow.”
but tomorrow is Saturday ._.
the wheel turns.
• WWS mom seems PISSED OFF
today like not really speaking just
like rhythmically POUNDING her
baby’s back, seeming to pat harder
as the doctor said we
probably can’t discharge yet lol
these two are having a passive
aggressive white woman off!! and
they both lose