This is day 14, right? Yeah it’s gotta be. It’s just that I didn’t write anything yesterday.

Goddammit, dude. What the hell. What am I supposed to do. This sucks. I had to excuse myself from rounds to go cry in the on-call room, and then i just....... Came back, and I was seemingly unflapped, and that’s great, good for me, whatever, but damn, dude. What the hell do I do now? Do I find a time to pull Dr. S----- aside and explain the situation to her? I don’t know. I don’t freaking know how much to open up to people versus how much to keep to myself and trust that this will pass and we’re already two-thirds of the way through and the worst is done and you’re going to be okay and it’s okay that your emotions are just for you.

I handled it in about as professional a manner as I could. I was really professional about it, quite frankly. And none of these people are my therapist, so like...... yeah. None of them are my therapist. I don’t have to tell anyone what happened, but I think it would be nice—at least like a little nice. Tell Y---, for example. I could just tell Y---.

Or I could tell L-----, who’s in the room with me right now. Instead, I feel rather inclined to keep it all to myself. Don’t need to spill out onto others.