ystrdy

day ten

• hypermagnesemia → delayed stool

• attending ----- ----- did

her residency + fellowship here

and has been attending depuis 3 ans

• babies are bad at mobilizing glycogen,

esp premies—that's why they need feeds

every 3 hours

• teratoma baby is losing weight

and everyone is concerned as they

should but I’m like guys… idk we’re

just good at FORCING him to stay

alive in the same way the teratoma

is good at forcing his mouth wide open

- it’s just crazy how much time we

spend talking about the trees with

him and never the forest

- his mom just came in and it

seems like she only speaks -----

so not sure how good the

communication is for this…

like nurse just yammering at

her in English just now like she

doesn’t know what is being said

I fear

• ? GBN for nutrition ?

• PO ad lib feed minimum 35

• “rest of their lives” such a

crazy thing to say isn’t it like

the implications of that phrase…

that life will end, I guess, mostly

• CPAP provides a constant

low-level pressure to keep the

lungs distended so it’s easier for

baby to keep breathing

- like how it’s harder to get a

balloon inflated initially then once

you get some air in it’s easier

• exit procedure = intubate while

body is still in womb ?!

• defamiliarization as a general

practice might bring me to

psychosis but that’s okay

- like we all wear shoes… we

all use our feet to open the

garbages… feet as like forgotten

entities in a sense… or like

unappreciated under-revered

• getting a lecture from a fellow

about vent settings, something

that is so incredibly dead-end

for me that I don’t care at all

• she just talked for a while as I

was thinking about applying to --- -----

and then said “does that

make sense” and I just nodded and

started writing this

• it’s crazy to think of how

many people spend all day every

day getting lost in this seemingly

meaningless arithmetic

- seemingly as in I guess it’s

maybe meaningful… could be convinced

- but even so, it’s still sad +

wasteful of human potential

tmrw