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for now

I’d rather kkeeep it this way This kind of stuff is for the people after I’m dead this is for you to read after I’ve died No i don’t want to really share any of this with anyone while I’m still around... that’s not the point I don’t want to show this piece of writing to anyone in my family for example Not when I can just show them the real me, the changing me, the waeveform me, the alive me Why show them the particle me... The partilcle me is for peopeleeee who don’t know me and if they wantnt to know me then they very well.... my god, neeed to close the window Some kind of machine out there. So fucking loud. Just so loud. So very loud, why? Why is the machine out the window so loud, ahwhwhwwyy is there a machine outside the window in the first place? You can just do whatever you want by the way when you’re ediitnign like you can turn the commmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmas into question pmamrmskrs if need be Who knows who knows who knows feelings change like the weather you could be in a hammock kicking your heels about a man on your phone and the next day you’re just dead to the whole thing, it feels dead to you, unreeeevivalbblblee,,, irredeemable But you know I’ll keep trying I’m going to keep trying keep on fuking gtg g gtryigng righgt isn’t that the idea And we gkeeep getting these incrementallllll gains right... right... Or are the gains artificial, are they just debris, are they just damage to my dna which will ultimately kill me Am I doing that... is that ’a’’allll I’m doing is damaging my dnaa threatening .... myself with cancer Knowing about the mechanicsmsms for things and telling myself you gotta die of something so you keep on dying in the free world There’s these women who wear theseee bobs and they have the tiniest faces looking almost like julia roberts but tinier, evnenen tineieer proportions, the bob looking more and more like a bowl cut and her face looking more and more like the reall life julia roberts and it just you knwow Fucking whatever dude fucking whatever is all I have to say is all I can say Fucking whatever I’m stopping making sense tradition I’m not making sense I don’t want to make sense right now Can you let me not make sense i would like that very much I just want to picture rhtings in my head and not tdescribe them to youuuuuuuuuuuu I want to be moved yyyyyyyyyyyb things in seceret I want to touch my face because theresss a scratch and not give you a play by play on the way my four fingers grazed my cheeeeekekkkkkkkkkkkk and I still feel the phantom of their scratch you know some cells brprpbablbly sloughed off and killed leaving little micro scars in their place I don’t need totell ouuoyouyou ou about these things anymore I don’t need to do anything but nnntothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing iniiiiiinininn nothing in ianaiandddnd nothing I’m elearning I’m learning I’m learning I’mle arneainringging I’m learning I’m klaerningin I’m learning I’m learning I’m learning I’m learningnngngnggg. I’m learning ia m learning ia m lealearaertgngningignigng I’m learning imm’m’m learning I’m working on n nit ... I’m working on it. I’ mstill working on it and I’m playing on it play on it I ‘m m going I’m going I;m’mm sleeping waking up going going going the days come theeeeey start they middddddle they end you see pepopeoeple or you don’t you talk t toto them or you don’t all of thtteee experienececesssss collececettt on you uu like sediment ititititiitititittt’s’ coming down and compacting itself into you know something not that sbstnatial not as substnatiaill as igneuousss can’t stand up to as much presssssusususuuusuuusuuususuuuure, but stillll rock, still rock still rock still rock still rock stillll rock still rokkc still rock still rock still rock ckckk k ks till rock still rock still rock.... still roororororockcck.

Still rokck.

Still rock still rock still roroocoocck still rock still grrorock still rock still rock still rock still rock still rock still rock still rorororooococockokkk still roroococokckckkk rsiististill rock stiltlililir ockk..k.k.k It’s like dna a a a a a aa a a. it keeeps s building itself it writes itself extremely verbosely dna is extremely verboseesesee buttt t t t t t t t t t t rnanrnsnscription is extremeemlyyyyyyyyyy elegant. By the way hguess who writes thee e e e e e e e e code for he the transccriptioroorss... r ight.. . dna....... . but ththththheheheheheheheh transciprtiotinonononn process is editing..... it’s eididintgg... transcription is editing. Takingggg whtat’a’ts before you and finding what reallyyyyyyyyyyy sings what really sounds like it might be a gooooooooooodo planannnnn,,, something worth repeatinggggg something g worth reffffffracting g g gg. Gsomething worth retellingggggggggggggggggg setting itno omtion... then theree’e’s’s’s’ sa whole lot of nothing,,, as it were. The dna just riffing andddddddd some mamparts going unrecognized by the transcirptitooorosrssss...... intronss...................... intergenic c c sequences... don’t ask me about any finerrrr points of anything. Don’t ask me anythinggggg about anythingngg. at all I don’t know when the introns earee exciciiciseddeddeddd and whethehrrerererr FUCK I’mm not t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t tt t t t t t t t t t t t t t. I‘m not I’m not oii’m not I’m not I’m not I’m not doing that. That’s nto what I’m doing I’m not doing that I’m not doing that I’m not t t t doing that I’m nto doing that I’m dnnonotttt doing that I’m nto doing that I’m not doing that I’m dnononottt doing that I’m not doing that I’m not doing that iiiiii’mnot t t doing that I’m not doin g ghtat I’m nto doing that I’m not doigngng that I’m not doing that I do the eidididitidiittiititititittititngngngngggggggg while I’m writing now I iiii I I I I ii do o the he e eididtdntiningigng while I ‘m I mwritinggg you decide what styas anadn what goessss while you are literalylylyy writing you decide in real time you slow yourself alllllt he wyawyyy dowowonnn saving yourself f f f t he trouble of editiignggn later you’d rather do it now one stop shopping g g gg no neeed to proofread antyhinga nyyyyymore no neeed to do anything at all really no need no need no need no eneeeeed non no no no no n neeeeeee dn dnd ndod nodn oneon eo dno enod noe nodn oe no enoen od none oen don eon do noe nod oe eno eno dno neo ndo neo ndo neo ndo eno no ee en enneeneeddd dno dnone oenenened Sometimes dna just spamming the shit out ioofofffff tiststststst uhhhh moelcules that make it up FUCK idk is it like the fucking amino....... amines... f ucking what’sthe word what’s the word I oknow it’s not amino aciddddd it’s like...... amine... amide.... fucking......... amino group.. fucking what is uit fuck fukkck fuck fuck fuck what is it wha tis it what is it it it it what I iw si si it what ah re a they whwha ta re they PURINESSSS ANDND PYRAMIIDIDMIDIDNEINEISNSNIENSE>.... Spamming the shit out of their purines and pyrmidiines just like writing alwlal wlwlalw lwa lw la lwa of fucking text that’s never geogoign to see the light of tdday noboddydyyy no transcibbieiririber is gonna go over to sit and be like this one bears replaicating let’s replaicat e etiit.... no, the truth of dna isss smost of itit tt titsiI SNOTHING!!! Will never be shit willnever be ANYTHING at all but tt t tt tpurines and pyrrhyrmididinesnss...

dna....

for its own sake!!! Dna for dna’s skake.e............ we do it guys we all do ti wieee all make art its’ ltiearly........ and not even art..t... we all MAKE. We all make shti no one’s gonna seeeeeee EVER... and we keeeeeep on nonn relpleciating it we keep doing it that shit is sacred that shit is dna who knows why tis’ agot all those introns and integrgenic sequences theh but they’re there and that’s beautiful and that’s whyyyyyy that’s why that’s hwy that’ws s wyhy that’s why that’s why that’s’’s’s wyhy tha’ts s’w hy tha’t’s why that’s why thhathhat’s why tha’ts why tha’ts hwy tha’tjshshs sss s s s s ss ss s s s s whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. That is why. That i s s swhy. This sisisissss s whywyywyw. That is why and this is swhwwyyyyy and these are twh yyyyyy, those arere why. I I I am why we are why you are why uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Try not to say uhhhhhh so much iftt’’s’f’s’’s’s’s’s’s’s’s s’s’s’s’s’ss.......... it’s undignified dddd put your chin up ppppp p w ee odn’t want to seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you uhhhhhhhhingggg your way through life There’s more to life than uhhhhhhhhhhhh there’s allalsos hmmmmmmmmmmmmm anddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd scratchhchchh s cratch it sscrattthchchchchchhh ti the keyesyyyesysysys,s csatratch them scarratchchchh ththemmm slash themmmmmm big gigib igi gashes in yourfloooorrrboards, the whol e ee e nine..... all lfofofo it ,,,, , period................ the whole... ....... the hwoleeeeeee...... the hole......... theeeee....... whole............. the ehoeohoehohohohohohoolleleleeee..e......... the hole No ommore hiding what’s the point No more hidididingngng ggng ngnggggggggg Just go ot sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp pjuststs sleeeeepignggg jsuutusuuusuuusuuuuust preppapparrinngingngngggg fofoooofoor dreams prepareinngign to host the spiriti fofo fmagiccccccccccccccc as ▒▒▒▒ would sayyyyyyyyyy iiiiin the owrds of someone who’ hse’s’s quotingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggdd dfdffdd eeeeeeeeeeyeeeeeyeyeyeye itchchecehehsssachoo Not supposed to be around ddogs like thisss not to this extent but what do you do whatnenen you’re full of loveveeveve You stay around the people and the dogs but only for a cocucpleleee moreree e e ee ee e ee eee nights.......... a. a.a .couple more nights including this one, ohhhhh me oh mmyyy,,,, oh me oh my..... oh me oh my.... a c ouplee Ohhhh. Oh oh oh... ther’es also ohhhh. There is also oh. There is also oh and there is also ooooo the night and dndndndndndndddndnddt here is there is thertere iiiiiiiiiiis there is therererererere sisis ss. There is there reis ther eis ther eries there is thehrehrhere risisisisisis

people kill ants

withhththhthhththththththhththt magnifying glassssssses and the sunnnn and the ants get burned up by the onconcnrenentrated sunlgihghthtc concenetrate concentrateatete aconcentrate concentrate but don’t youuuuuu usue it for eveil there’ sno reason toik kill an ant stop killing ants for real stop it that includes traps iitititttttititiititititittt givvevesss me secondhhahannannannnndnddddddddddd, viacaicairirousoussssss bad karma watching you kill bugs and especially ants iiiii don’t want to see that I don’t want you to do it its not only that titiii don’t want to see it it’s that I don’t want YOU to do its s sos os topop oddodooignt his and if you take nothing else from me take this: SSTOP FUCKING KKIILLILING ANTS and bugs and really anything else... unlesssss its’s’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ unleneleslnesesesesese.s.e.s. eunelsneunsuelnulesnuelnsluelsuenuslennusensulenlsuneulsneuslenulsnesulenuslenulsneuslneulsne. Unlesnese suenlsuenlsuensluense nunelse.s.e.s uenslenlununeunene sulnslnelsnelslensne snense.se unleusesesesnens unelsses. Unlenulsse sunelsss unelsensulensluenunless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Sunelsssss. Ulmenelss. Ulnenlsss. Unless. Unless unless unless unlessunless unesssununlesss unless uelnses unless ueslnsunlesss unelsness unless nulneslunss snunlusens unlesns sunelsnss unelsns uenllses sunelnslensun neuslnss unless ulnes ? sunelnsleusnlunes neus nlsuen uslenssn ulesnlunesunsunselnsuesnuse.; uneless unlehess unless unlsesess sunless unless unelsss unsells. Qu unless ulness uelnsneslnsluesse unslelusnensss. Unless uneslss sunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkjlesss. Unless unless unless unless sunelsss unsels. Uneless unless unelsss usels uess unelsss nlsunulenulnelunuenusenulnulnununununununelss unsluessensulsnelsuensulnesulensluneuslnesnes.unelss unless. Unelsuse nulneslusenses. Unlsense unsle sue nslensulensluenusn eulsn lunlnesssunlesn unesulns sunelsess unelses unlseess unelsuenslenusnenlssss. Unlesns uneluss eunesunless unluehslsnen sunlhselessssunlse nu snlesnlsse uslnelnse luesn enlslens leisunlsss uneslnss enies nusels esulnelunsnsnuelsnlsnsnsss ThE rest of page itnetnieaonanalllyy ly yly left plaag gbbabalnakannak balbnakbank balkn. after