卌||||

Don’t you worry bout a thing

mama. Cuz i'll be standing on your side when you check it by or whatever the fuck she said. It’s good to be able to write through little hiccups like that. Like, the hiccup is part of the sauce. Or, like, don’t prevent the thing from getting uttered just cuz you’re worried you might hiccup. Like, at least you’ll have hiccuped and not just said nothing it all. I always say this, that it’s better to speak and hiccup than to not speak at all. And it’s better to speak than to die, but to die is also pretty good and romantic. So honestly, pick your poison. poison We’ve made up this idea that there’s someone out there, or something, some kind of force, who’s keeping score on everything and is going to make sure that justice is served in some way once we reach other side of whatever the fuck this is. Would be better by far to set my mind to something worthwhile. I just don’t know what the next worthwhile thing is going to be. I’ll just have to get back to actually doing something. Which is exactly what i’m about to do next. For my next trick, i will do a cross country road trip all by myself with a car and a hammock and see what we can do. I guess now is as good a time as any. What are the things i should know before embarking on this trip. How can i make myself an expert in chickens before i go out there seeking other people's knowledge. What am i going to give in return? Will it be some kind of... i don’t know. Seeds or something. I’ll think about it along the way. I’ll have plenty of time to think, and i might have time to write while i’m on the road as well. We don’t really need to go full throttle or anything like that. At the same time, i want to embrace the whole "young person wandering the US alone" thing. How do you really do it and do it right? Are you meant to be kissing people along the way ? stopping in local gay bars and seeing what trouble you can’t get yourself into? "so what are you doing here." "i’m writing a book about chickens." No funny business or nothing like that. I’m really not interested in anything too crazy——unless we fall in love, which is possible. I’m really just looking for someone to hang out with and maybe kiss if it comes to that. I know how to survive in the country. I’m familiar with how to talk to the good old boys and girls. "Lemme buy y'all a drink. "Lemme come to your farm and i wanna talk to you. "I need to know what it's actually like. "Tell me as much as you’re willing to tell me, and don’t be afraid to tell me the whole truth and nothing but the truth. "All the things you wish someone would ask you. Any weird moments when you were just like, 'i don't know how i would ever explain this to someone.' "Anything at all that comes to mind. Even if nothing comes to mind, i wanna hear it all. "All of it. Let me have it. Don't stop talking until i say something." I'm ready to be all ears. Isn't it ultimately an impressionist game? I'm not looking for specific answers to anything. I'm just trying to remember how to push the right buttons to get people to spill their guts. ▒▒ ▒ told me she has a severely troubled relationship with her daughter the first time she saw me in real life. Note to self: email that guy back tomorrow——or, no, that woman——and maybe call or text the guy whose number she sent. "What are the daily struggles? "What are you frustrated about at this moment in time? "Are you connected to any larger farms? "What’s your understanding of the chicken-people ecosystem right now? "What’s the collective unconscious saying right now? "What’s the first thing on your mind right now? "Literally, what is the first thing that comes to mind?" Let’s hear all of it. As much as there is to say, i wanna hear it all. I can pay you in blocks. tomorrow