"THE DOUBLE" is a short story by Fyodor Dostoevsky. The story, as translated by Constance Garnett, has been adapted for the stage.
GOLYADKIN IS IN A STORE. HE SEES HIS COLLEAGUES, THE SAME ONES FROM BEFORE.
previouslyCOLLEAGUE 1 & 2: Yakov Petrovich, Yakov Petrovich! You here? What brings you?...
GOLYADKIN: Ah, it is you, gentlemen. You’ve deserted, gentlemen, he-he-he…
GOLYADKIN SLAPS COLLEAGUE 1 ON THE SHOULDER A LITTLE TOO HARD.
GOLYADKIN (cont.): Well, and our bear, is he still at the office?
COLLEAGUE 2: Who’s that, Yakov Petrovich?
GOLYADKIN: Why, the bear. Do you mean to say you don’t know whose name that is? (laughs) I mean Andrey Flippovich, gentlemen.
HIS COLLEAGUES WINK AT EACH OTHER.
COLLEAGUE 1: He’s still at the office and asking for you, Yakov Petrovich.
GOLYADKIN: At the office, eh! In that case, let him stay, gentlemen. And asking for me, eh?
COLLEAGUE 2: He was asking for you, Yakov Petrovich; but what’s up with you, scented, pomaded, and such a swell?...
GOLYADKIN: Nothiing, gentlemen, nothing! That’s enough.
GOLYADKIN LOOKS AWAY, SMILING. HIS COLLEAGUES LAUGH.
GOLYADKIN (cont.): I’ll tell you as friends, gentlemen. You all know me, gentlemen, but before now you’ve only known one side of me. No one is to blame for that, and I know that it's partly my fault. Before now, gentlemen, you haven't known me. To explain myself here and now wouldn't be appropriate. I'll only touch on it lightly in passing. There are people, gentlemen, who dislike roundabout ways and only wear masks at costume parties. There are people who don't think polishing the floor with their boots should be man's purpose. There are people, gentlemen, who refuse to say that they are happy and enjoying a full life when, for instance, their pants fit properly. There are people, finally, who dislike dashing and whirling around pointlessly, fawning, and licking the dust, and above all, gentlemen, poking their noses where they are not wanted… I’ve told you almost everything, gentlemen; now allow me to withdraw…
HIS COLLEAGUES LAUGH HARDER.
GOLYADKIN (cont.): Laugh away, gentlemen, laugh away for the time being! If you live long enough you will see.
GOLYADKIN TAKES HIS HAT AND TURNS TO LEAVE.
GOLYADKIN (cont.): But I will say more, gentlemen. I will say more—you are both here with me face to face. This, gentlemen, is my rule: if I fail, I don’t lose heart. If I succeed, I persevere. In any case, I am never underhanded. I’m not one to intrigue—and I’m proud of it. I’ve never prided myself on diplomacy. They say, too, gentlemen, that the bird flies itself to the hunter. It’s true, and I’m ready to admit it; but who’s the hunter, and who’s the bird in this case? That is still the question, gentlemen!
GOLYADKIN BOWS TO HIS COLLEAGUES AND EXITS.
PETRUSHKA: What are your orders now? What are your orders?
GOLYADKIN: To Ismailovsky Bridge.
PETRUSHKA: To Ismailovsky Bridge! Off!
GOLYADKIN’S THOUGHTS: Their dinner will not begin till after four, or perhaps five o’clock. Isn’t it early now? However, I can go a little early; besides, it’s only a family dinner. And so I can go sans facons, as they say among well-bred people. Why shouldn’t I go sans facons? The bear told us, too, that it would all be sans facons, and so I will be the same…
GOLYADKIN POINTS TO A HOUSE BY THE BRIDGE.
GOLYADKIN: (to DRIVER) Stop there.
GOLYADKIN SEES A WOMAN IN THE SECOND STORY WINDOW AND BLOWS HER A KISS. HE GETS OUT OF THE CAR AND WALKS INSIDE.
GOLYADKIN: (to DOORMAN) Olsufy Ivanovich?
DOORMAN: At home, sir; at least he’s not at home, his honor’s not at home.
GOLYADKIN: What? What do you mean, my good man? I-I’ve come to dinner, brother. Why, you know me?
DOORMAN: To be sure I know you! I’ve orders not to admit you.
GOLYADKIN: You… you, brother… you must be making a mistake. It’s me, my boy, I’m invited; I’ve come to dinner.
GOLYADKIN TAKES OFF HIS COAT.
DOORMAN: Please, sir, you can’t, sir. I have orders not to let you in. I have orders to refuse you. That’s how it is.
ENTER GERASIMICH, OLSUFY IVANOVICH’S OLD BUTLER.
DOORMAN (cont.): You see the gentleman wants to go in, Emelyan Gerasimich, and I…
GERASIMICH: And you’re a fool, Alexeitch. Go isnide and send the rascal Semyonovich here. (to Golyadkin) It’s impossible. It’s quite impossible. His honor begs you to excuse him; he can’t see you.
GOLYADKIN: He said he couldn’t see me? Excuse me, Gerasimich, why is it impossible?
GERASIMICH: It’s quite impossible. i’ve informed your honor; they said ‘Ask him to excuse us.’ They can’t see you.
GOLYADKIN: Why not? How’s that? Why.
GERASIMICH: Please, please!...
GOLYADKIN: How is it though? It’s out of the question! Announce me… How is it? I’ve come to dinner…
GERASIMICH: Excuse me, excuse me…
GOLYADKIN: Ah, well, that’s a different matter, they asked to be excused. But please, Gerasimich; why, Gerasimich?
GERASIMICH: Excuse me, excuse me!
ENTER ANDREY FLIPPOVICH AND VLADIMIR SEMYONOVICH. THEY LOOK AT GOLYADKIN IN AMAZEMENT. GERASIMICH PUSHES GOLYADKIN OUT OF THE WAY. GOLYADKIN STARTS TO LEAVE. GOLYADKIN: I will come afterwards, Gerasimich; I will explain myself: I hope that all this will without delay be explained in due season…
ANDREY: Yakov Petrovich, Yakov Petrovich…
GOLYADKIN: What do you want, Andrey Flippovich?
ANDREY: What’s wrong with you, Yakov Petrovich? In what way?
GOLYADKIN: No matter, Andrey Flippovich. I’m on my own account here. This is my private life, Andrey Flippovich.
ANDREY: What’s that?
GOLYADKIN: I say, Andrey Flippovich, that this is my private life, and as for my being here, as far as I can see, there’s nothing reprehensible to be found in it as regards my official relations.
ANDREY: What! As regards your official… What’s the matter with you, my good sir?
GOLYADKIN: Nothing, Andrey Flippovich, absolutely nothing; a disrespectful slut of a girl, and nothing more…
ANDREY: What! What?
GOLYADKIN SUDDENLY RUNS UP THE STAIRS AND HIDES HIMSELF AWAY. ANDREY FLIPPOVICH GOES BACK INTO THE PARTY AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HIM. GOLYADKIN COLLECTS HIMSELF PARTIALLY, PULLS UP HIS COLLAR AND GOES DOWNSTAIRS, OUT TO THE CAR.
GOLYADKIN: (to PETRUSHKA) What are you laughing at, blockhead?
PETRUSHKA: What should I laugh at? I’m not doing anything; where are we to drive now?
GOLYADKIN: Go home, drive on….
PETRUSHKA: Home, off!
GOLYADKIN’S THOUGHTS: What a crow’s croak!
GOLYADKIN: (to DRIVER) Turn back at once!
THE DRIVER TURNS THE CAR AROUND AND GOES BACK TOWARD OLSUFY IVANOVICH’S YARD.
GOLYADKIN (cont.): Don’t, don’t, you fool, back!
THE DRIVER GOES BACK TO THE STREET. THEY PASS THE SEMYONOVSKY BRIDGE. GOLYADKIN SEES A MODEST-LOOKING RESTAURANT.
GOLYADKIN (cont.): (to DRIVER) Stop there.
GOLYADKIN GETS OUT OF THE CAR AND PAYS THE DRIVER FOR THE DAY.
GOLYADKIN (cont.): (to PETRUSHKA) Go home and await my return.
GOLYADKIN GOES IN THE RESTAURANT AND ORDERS DINNER ALONE.
next