There’s no way to go back and experience it exactly as you did the first time, and there’s grief in that for real

There’s grief in losing things you thought you had

But I suppose it’s always a good reminder of the impermanenence of everything

It’s like in pokemon when you don’t save your file for a long time, at least a gym badge worth of grinding and progression… sometimes getting the HM for surf in that convoluted maze through the safari zone...

gamer Anyway, why was I complicating my life in those ways that I was complicating it?

I think I’m ready to leave behind the constant climbing of the ladder

I’m making the necessary changes and some of them are quite slight but end up changing the whole thing

I’m also reading house of leaves right now and loving it like oh shit okay so it’s genius

My participation in pride month is about as arbitrary as this sexuality that I’ve been assigned seemingly at birth or perhaps somewhere later down the line by some kind of unknown pheromonic or (epi)genetic factors

for one arbitrary reason or another I’m gay right now and therefore I must participate in pride month because I must have pride because that’s what the mainstream gays tell me... to be proud

And I am proud, fuck it, i ammm proud of this shit. to live freely even though bitches are still somehow for some reason homophobic

I’m not even interested in talking about homophobia. just shut the fuck up and we can ▒▒▒▒ the homophobes and be done with it and move on to bigger and better