It’s curious, a curious thing, that i was summoned to the river when i was. There was a guy sitting there with his back to the entrance to our little slice of the river. He was chiefing something, i think that’s the word they use to describe what he was doing. Huffing and puffing something. Didn’t hear a thing. Considered speaking to him especially given how i was practically summoned to the river, and it seemed like our paths were supposed to be aligned and shit, and maybe what he needed in that moment was someone to speak with him and show him some love, but if that’s the case, then I didn’t do it, because I have conditioned fears inside me related to seeing random people in the backyard of one’s home. Even though i’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have made an attempt at my life, there was still no overcoming that hesitation to connect with him, to engage another human being, and one that i found in my own backyard. Because what would i have said to him? What is there to say. I think what happened between us was enough, was right, was what was “supposeD” to happen. There was nothing i wanted to say to him. There was no impulse in me to kick him out or ask him any questions or anything like that. It was enough to bear tiwiwtness. I let him know of my presence by moving the chair that was at the entrance. Just a little signal from me to him that i am here that i can see him that i saw him that i didnt disturb him that now im gone, l,eft, that its over now, that the thing that mightve happened between us is over now, that theres nothing else to say, really, that this is all she wrote, as it were, that all she wrote has already been written and anything else written in addition to that is nothing. There is no more to say, but i continue to write anyway.

a car just drove by and reminded me of the presence of water on the road. You can hear the tires sloshing through the probably one centimeter of water that is now on the road. The road being something as unnatural as the plastic bag and as natural as the cardboard box. Each thing in nature and in life having parts that are natural and parts unnatural. But it’s all made of the same parts, innit. The same parts. Tatianna said it. And then alaska fucking sent her home the day after she won that initial challenge, like what the hell. This is crazy is it not. Her sending home tatianna is crazy. She is the one queen from an early season who actually served it to the people. I guess kylie sonique love is another example where she went on the win all stars 6 even though i personally thought it should’ve been rajah ohara. But then she ended up winning canada vs the world, so there’s that.