• H----: on chemo, still having pain (4/10),
misses sisters, smiling through.
- parents concerned about
waxing/waning sedation
- pall care recs continued
psychosocial support for
------ pain + processing
- on methadone, gaba
• T-----: NGT this morning under
anesthesia
• E-----: chemo, MRI yesterday,
otherwise nothing
• Dr. R-- saying we’re 'holding space for
multiple things to be true,' reminding
me of how fun + inescapable that
meme was last year... so
funny and indicative of the
problem here that he’s using
that phrase unironically.
• today I felt a sense of urgency
and grief over every moment
we spend putting our minds to some
dumb shit like how the media
tab in the EHR doesn’t let you upload
from your camera roll
• nausea = most common side
effect of cymbalta
• what I can’t stand is the
condescending fucking attitude
the fellow + attending are
exhibiting to this mom. it’s so
horrific bro.
- drawing a fuckass
diagram to mansplain the
trite ass facebook motivation
ass sentiment 'growth isn’t
linear' SHUT THE FUCK UP
- the condescension boils my blood
- the level of phoning it in that
is happening here!!!
- I have to sublimate my intense
discomfort at this 45 min
conversation into anger at these
individuals + this system but
the reality is this is perhaps the
most uncomfortable I’ve been
in a patient room
- them whispering to each other
while mom is talking is fucking
craaazy to me like I get
that the interpreter is listening
but still fucking PAY ATTENTION!!
- body language + nonverbal
communication oh and just
fucking human decency, ever
heard of these?!
- they’re obsessed with telling her
that her concerns/requests are
“very reasonable” how fucking
condescending can you be???
and they keep asking her
to make these clinical judgment
calls like what meds to use
and whether she thinks pt
should be discharged from ICU
or medical floor
- this is not the shared
decision-making serve you
think it is!!!
• ultimately there are no words
to describe how fucked this is.
these people are fucking ghouls,
phantoms, specters.