this school is full of
that’s the one thing they seem to select for. they select for the prettiest boys in the whole world. there’s one with a nicely cropped, perfectly professional and polite haircut.
the dental students have a certain physiognomy as well. they’re a little cooler-looking and -acting. they’re less gryffindorish and more slytherinish... i guess... if i may use the cringe harry potter classification system.... but shit man.... no judgment here, for myself or anyone...
i look many many dozen feet away... and i see the sunlight hitting the snow. this manmade world has a lot of light as well, but it’s the artificial kind, the manmade kind, and it’s not quite like the one from the sun. it’s still illuminating things , but it’s not quite..... sunlight.
water i gotta drink some water. yesterday dr. t— said i was really hydrated. i think it was based on seeing how well-filled the vessels in my liver were. so weird, that level of intimacy, because it’s
, is it... it kind of is, but it also isn’t. the most intimate part of it is how he was putting his hands on my body and looking at my exposed skin. it’s less intimate to look at a screen and know that it represents what is inside my body.... it’s intimate in a different way; it’s intimate in a more hyperreal way. anyway, drinking more water to get more hydrated for him.
i think when it comes to hair, when i look at this pretty white boy and his off-white sweater and his perfect haircut and his bangs over his forehead, it does sort of make me wanna buzz my head again. i don’t really like having hair. i think i’m sick of having hair again... i think i’m done with hair again... maybe... but i’ve also been growing it out for a minute and shit and you know... but it sure is nice to not have to worry about product in my hair and wondering if it looks crazy or if it doesn’t... it really is nice to have a buzzed head. you don’t have to worry about anything at all.
theres another pretty boy with the group of pretty boys now, and he’s not as pretty, but he’s dressed like them. he has this cropped corduroy jacket on, and it’s a light jacket, and he’s got the baggy jeans on and the uniform shoe, the
shoe, the adidas one.
anyway, yeah, here we are on wednesday in the library reflecting on the nature of reality. but for now, i think, for the morning, i gotta let it go.
later