The ones who follwowow the rules and meet themselves at the schools tooooo busy to know that theyre fools aren’t they a gem? I’ll drink to them, let’s all tdrink to them gay Like seriously let’s all drink to them Rediscovering the eightfold path for real bro you gotta get in thereeee get into the spiritual ring go the places where spirituallllllity is actually litearly happening don’t get anchored to any oneee tradition they’re all doing not-different shit anyway so better to find something that’s sorta just toally random don’t you think █ ███’█ ████ ██ ██ ██ ███ █████ ██████ ██████ ████ ██ ██ ██ n▒▒▒▒ ████ █’█ ████ ████ ███ █ ████ █████ █████ ███ █ █████ ████ ██ █████ ███ █████’█ ████ █████████ █ ███’█ ████ █████████ █████ █ ███████ ████ ███ █████ ███ █████-███████ ██████████████ ████ ████ ██ ██████ ███ ████ █████ █████ █████ ██ ██████ ████ █ ██████████████████████ ██ ██ ███ ██ ███ █████ ██████ ███ ████ ████ ███████ ███████ ██ ████ █████ ████ █████ ██████ ██████ ███████ And ‘I’imm not even sure where this journey will take me but I’m looking fvery much forward to it ███████ █████████████ ███ ███ ████ ███ ███’█ ███ ██████ ███ ████████ █ ████ ███ █████ ███ ███ ██ ████ ██ ███████████ ██████████ ███ ████ █████ █ ████████ ████ ███ ████████ ██████’█ ████ █████ ██████ ██ ████ ███’█ ███ ███ ████████ ██ ███ ████ ███’█ ███ ████ █████████ ██ ████ █████ ████ ███████ ████ ██ ████ █████ ██ ███████ ██ ███ ██ █ ██ ██████ ██ ██████████████ ████ ██ ████ ███████ ███████ █████ ██ █ ████ ███ ███ ███ ██ ██ ██████████ ██ ██ ██ █ █████ █████ ██ ██████ █████████ ████ ████ ██ ███ ███ █████ ██ ████ ████ ██ █████ ██ ████████████ ███’█ ██ ████ ███████ █████████ ██████ █ ███ █████ ██ █ ██████ █████ ████ ██ █████ ███ ██████ ██ ██ █ ██████ ████ ███████ █ █████ ███ ████ █ ███ ███ ███ ████ ████ ██ ███ ██ █’█ █████ █████ ██... Anyway getting bgogged down in logistics and besides it’s the weekend right now why think of work matters? But I’m on a different timeline this whole past two weeks has been weekend theres’ been no work needing to be done and that feeeels magical to me uquite magical indeeedd I’m feeling the magic of rest and relaxation and having nothing to do and following mmy own arrorow and smoking hwoever much weeed, ultimately not that much, I’m far from a wake and bake kind of mentality right now oso that feels like a good amount of you know control if I may use such a loaded term.... Carefully I’ll use it carefully don’t worry I was getting anxious today. Notably there was no orrr hardly any anxiety following me throughout the duration of our trip to Boulder. And then when I came back and got on my phone and saw b▒▒▒▒▒ was canceling plans for Sunday I was lke oh there’s the anxiety oh it’s the rejection sensitivity as well but when in doubt be noramal because ███ ███ ████ ███ ████ ██ ██ ██ ███████ █ █████ ██ ███ ██████████████ ██ ███ ██████ ██ █████ ███ ██ ████ ████’█ ████ ██ ████████ █████████, ███ ████ █ ███ ██ ██████ ███ ████ ████ ██ ██ ████ ███ ███████ ███████ █████ ████████ ██████ █████ ███ ████ ████ █████ █████ ███ ██████ ███ ███ █’█ █ ██████ ███ █████ ███ █ ████ ████ ███ ████ ███ ███████ █████ █████ █ ████ █ ███ ███████ █████ █████████ ████ ██ ██████ █ ███ █████████ █████ ███ ███████ █████ ███ █’█ ████ ████’█ ████ ████ ███. █████ ██████ ██ █████ ██ Anxiety is a side effect of the phone, of anything ressmebling social media and yes that includes tesxting Anxiety is just going to go ahead and be a side effect and I’m sure some people are more prone to it Like amaybe there ar epeople out there who use their phoene and post profilifiacally without a care in the world but i’m someone who really feels somewhat precious about the words that I put out there and I want to make sure that I’m saying exactly what it is that I mean And then I realiezze the proper venue for that kind of textual truth telling requires much more thenann ibite sized chat sized pieces and ████ ████████ █’█ ████ ███████ ██ ███ ███ █ █████ ███ ███████ ██ ████ ██ █████ ██ █████████ ███ █’█ ████ ████ ██ juuuuuuuuuuuuuust coming against certain limits of the medium ██ ████ █████ ██ ██████ ████████ ██ ██ ███████ ██ ███ ████████ ███████ ███ ████ ███ █ ███ ██ ███ ████████ ████ ████ ███ █ ███ ████ ████ ████’██ ████ ██████████ ███ █████ ██ █ ███ ████████ ██████ ████ ████ ████ ██ ████ ███ █████ ██ ██████ █ ███ ████ ██ ██ ████ █████ █ █████ ██ ███████ █████ ██, █ ███ ██ ████ ███ ███’█ ███████ ██████ ████ ████████ ██ ███ ███████ ████ ████ ███ ████ ████ ███’█ ██ ██, ██ ██████ ███ ██████ ██████████ ████ ███ ██ ██ ███ ████ ██ ███ █████ ██████ ████ ███ ██ ██ █ █ █████. ... █ █████ █ ███ ██ █ ██ ████ ███████.... ████ █████ ███ ███ ██████ ██ ██████ ███████ ████ ██ ████ ██ ████.... █ ██████ ███ ████ ██████ ████ ██ ██ ███ █ ██████ ██ ██ ████ ██ ██████████ ███████ ██ █████ ██ ██ ████ ██ █████ ███ █ ████ ██████ ██ ███████████ ███ ██████████ █████ ██ █████████████ ████ █ ██████ █ ██ █████ ██ ██████████ ██ ██ ███ ██ ████ ██ ██████████ ██ And now I’m still fukcking thinking about it ██ ████ ██ ██ █████ ███████ █████ ███ ████ ███████ █████ ██ ██ ███ ████ ███ █████ ██ █████ ██ █████████ ███ ███████ ██ ████████ ███ ███████ ██████████ ███ █ ███ █████████ ███ █████ ██ ██████ ████ ███ ████ ██ ████ ██ ████████ █████ ██ ██████ ████████ ██████ ███ ██ ███ ████ █ ███ ███ ██ ███ ███████ ███████████████ █████████ ████ ███ █ ███ ████ ████████████████████ █ ███ ███ ██ ██ ████, ████ ████ ███ ██ ████ ████████ ██████████... ██████, ██ ██ ████, ███ ██ ██ █████... ███ ██ ████ █████... ███ ███ ███ ████████ █████ ██ ████ ████ ██.... █████.... ███ ████.... Premeditating that’s’s boring writing is the most exciting when it is straight up meditative e not premeditative not talkiga bout things you’re GONNA A do But then how do ideas happen and where do they oocme from and do they come when you’re falling alseeep and is it okay to be writing them down I think it’ sokay like... it hnink it’s okay. I was going to say it’s okay as long asyou... but as long ..... as soon as you say something like that youre being almost punitive with yorusrelf and that’s also not the goal Funnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to thin k how much writing I’ve really done and hwo well practiced in iiii am in this art of writing now to the point where I forgot what oponti iwas trying to make there. Iw asp ickig my nose fro way too long and thinking about whether to somehow fix the fan so i’tsnot clicking multiple times every second. At least one time perssecond most often tow.... Anyway hwoever you wanna measure that rate I do love physics and I do love chemistry and I also am getting back into sconsidering ████ ███████████ ██████ like for realisiesi I’m staritng to really seriously think about it And my question for this moment here is whether I fuck off to salem Oregon to do a ███ ████████ ███████ ██ █ █████ ████████ █████ █ ██████ ███ █████ ████ ██████ ███ ████ ████ ███ ██████████’█ ████ like you gotata wornder lolll is thusis sa suitable thing to do? And I honestly don’t’ see why not Sure I’d have to mkekake all new friends but I think I might b e up to the task Like there’s a law school there so hthere’s sure to be some wokies like █████ ████ ██ ████ █ ███ ███ ███’█ ██████ ██ █████ ███ █ ███ ████ ██ ████ ████ ███ ███ ████’█ █████ █ ████ ██ ██████ ██████████ ███████ ██ ███████ ████████ ██ ██ ███████ █████ ████████ ███ ████ ██’██ ███████ ████████ ███████ ████ ██ ████ ████ ██████ ███ █████ ██ █████ ██ ██ ██ ███ ████ ███. █ ████ ██ █████ ███ ███ █████ ██ █████ ██████... ███ ████ █████ ██ █████ ████ ███ ███ █████....... █ ████ ███ ████ █ ████ ████ ███ █████ █████ ██████ ██ █ ███ ██ █████ █████ ██████ ████ █████████ ████. █ █████ ████ ██ ████ ███████ ████ ███ ███████ ████████ ███ ████ ████ ████ ██████ ███ ████ ████ ██ ██ ████ ██ ███ ██████ ███ ███████ ████ ██’██ █████████ ██████████ ████ █████ ███████ ████ ██ ████ ████ ███ ████ █ ████ ██ ██████████ ██ ███████ ██ ████ █████ ███....................... █’█ ██████ ███ ██████████ ██ █████ ██ ████ ██ ██ ██████ ██████ ████ ███ ████ █’█ ███ ████████████ ██ ███████ ██ ████ ██ █ █████ ███’█ █ ████ █████ ███ ██ ███ ████████ ███████████ ███ ████ ██████ ███████ █████ ███ █████ █ ████ ███ ██’█ ████ ████ ████ I can nnnnever figure out how to flap my wings if I’m just in constant anxious contact with █ ██████ all the tiiiiiiiiiiiime But it doesn’t have to be anxoious In fact █ █████ █ ██████ ████████ ████████████ ████ ██ ███████ all things considered So yeah I hithink I can just elave it at that. █ ███ █████ ████ ███ ████ ██ █ ████ but I think it’s all good. I really do. I don’t mind this setup to be honest with you... and to be fair █ ███ ████ ████. ███ █████ ███ ████ ████ ██ █████████ ██ █ █████████ and yeah that was all good you know it’s alllll just good and ucute ogoodfun..... so yeah This spiritual path though I am proud of myself for noticing ncertain signs today and letting myself solidyf fyy some little action s that can be taken... And it was all because I left my phone at home and saw N▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ I sa w it there sitting on the bus from boulder to ▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒ I saw N▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ████ █████ █’██ █████ █████ ██████ ███████ ██ ███ ████ █████ ██ ███ ████████, ██ ██ ███ █████ ████ █████ ████ ██ ███ █ ████ ██ ██ ████ ██ ███ ██████ ███ ██████ ██ ███ █████ ███████.... ███ █ ████████ ███ ███████ ████ ███ █ ███████ ███ ████████ ████ ███████ ████ ███ ███ ███ █ ██████████ █████ ████████, ███ █ ████████ ███ ███ ███ ██ ████ ██ ██ ██ ███ ████████ ██████, ███ ██ █████ ████ ██ █████ █████ ██ ████ █████ ██ ████████ █████████, ███ ███ ████ ██ ██ ██ ██ █ ███████ ███.... █████ █ ██████, ███ █████ ████, ██ ███ ███████ ███ ██ ███ ████ ███ ██ █████████ ███ ██ █████ ████ ██████. ████ ████, ████ ██ █ ██████████, █ ██████ ██ ██ ███... ███ ██████ ███ █ ███ ██ ██████ ██████ ███ ████ ██████ ████ ███ ████ ████ ███ █████ ██ ██ ███ ████ ████ ███ ███.... █████, █████ And it does makes esnes it really does make sense And I was laso thinkinga bout how when I visist M▒▒▒▒▒ this summer it’ll be like what do I even talk about, and how nice cowuold it be if I was like yeah I got actually a ██████████ ████████ ███████ ███ ██ ██ ██████ ████ ███ ████ █████ ██ ███████ ████████...█.. ██ ██████ salem Oregon like yeah I’m fucking off to oeregon to elarn hwo to ██ █ █████████ ██████ you got any questions? I’ll be over there doing that...s o yeah But again with the premeditation I’m actively trying to brign it back to the momenta And I’m trhinkig of this song from boards of cananda, that’s the song in my head right now, and then there’s that really nice one from the Minecraft vinyl that I threw on earlier today It was a pretty good day honestly It started with the new episode eof drag race all stars eelven, insane to even say that.. it’s getting so diltuted, everythin..j........... eveyrhing is getting so diluted I honestly don’t’ even have inan interested in talking about this season with anyone to be honest.......... I just watch it because.... Who knows But I’m alone I’m not quite lonely but I could be ocncinvicned And iknow █████ ███ ███ ███ ███ ██ █████ ███████ ██ ██ █████████ ███ ████ █ █████ ██ ██ █████ ███ ████ ███ ███ ████ ████ █ ████ ███ ███ ████ ████ ██ ████ ██████ █████ ██ ███ ██ ████ ███ ████ █ █████ ██ ██ ███ ███ ████ █ ███’█ ██ ███████ ███ ███ ████ ██ █ ███ ████ ██’█ ████ ████████ ██ ████ ████ ██████ ██ ███ ████████ ███ ██ ██████ ████ ███ ██ ███ █████ ███ ███ ██ ████ ██ ███ █ ████ ██ ████ ██ ███ ███ ███’█ ██ ███ █ █████ ███ ███ █’██ █████ ████ ███ ███████ ███ █████ ████ ██ █ ████ ██ █ █████████ ██████████ ███ ███ ████ ██ ████████ ██ ████ ██ █████ ███ █████ ███ ████████ ██████ ███ ██ ███ ███ ██ ███ █████ ████ ███’█ ████ ████████ ███ █████████ █████ ███████ ███ ███ ████ ███ ███ ██ ████ █ ████ █ ██████████ █████ ███ ████ ██████ ███ ████ ███ █████ ██████ ██ ███ ████ ████ █ ████ Msised ocnnetctions inhibitions ssssa action portentials that failed to fire Likethe one to text k▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ that I saw ekesha oagain Or the one to text g▒▒▒▒▒ that I saw █████ ███████ ███ ██ ████████ ███ ███████ ████████ ██ ██████ ████ ██ ██████ and she fell asleep and it made eme think of you and I hope you’re feeling better about the boys who have been sexuallya bused by the cathololic church boards of Canada plays at a moderate ovoulume I tne eh backgrounda st his conversation continues It’s always more interesting to clock and track the internal weather of your own consciousnessss than any sort of planning premeditating thing There are s omany mnooks and crannies with pots and pans hanging around in ht e folds of my wbrain and bpart of the work is increasing the folds, bfinding new folds, becuas ehte foldier your rbrain tgets, the more smtartyeeyeryrr you really are, and I’m trying to ██ ███ ██████████ ██████ ██ ███ █████ █████ ███ ████████ ███ ███ ████ █████ Come to find out Socrates was seen as an annoying "some guy" in his time, and that’s sort of what I want to be They said he just walked around asking people existential uquestions and they learned to just hate him and be annoyed by it would love to see a more nuanced take on that like who was he really... we’ll never know I’m sure certain folks held a certain affection toward him... but idigress so far far far from the original point And that right there IS the point the point The point si the point like writing is done for its own sake I’d prefer itf we dstopped sohwoing people what I write entirely, better to be not heard and no t seen and not heard from and not seen anything about, a thing at al,, let it all go, delete the website, no need to provide just another thing fo rpoeple to look at , but at the same time █ ████ ██████████ ██ ██ ███ ██████ ██████.. ████ ████ ██ ██, ███ █████, █████ ██ ████ ████ ████ ██ ██ ████████ █’█ ███ ███████████ ██████ ██ ██, █’█ ███ █████ ██████ ██ ██ ██ ████ ██ ██ ███ ████ ████████ ███████ ██ ██ ██████ ███████ ████ ██ ██ ██████ ███████ ██████ ███ ███’█ ████ ██ ████ ████ ███’█ ███ █ ███ █ █████████ █████ ██ █ █████████ █████ ███ ████ ████ ████████ █’█ ███████ ███████ ██ ███ ████ ██ ██████ And speaking of that I gotta get my shit together and ███ ████ ███████ ████████ █████ █████ ███ ██ ███████ █████ ███ █’██ ███ ████ ████ ██████ Il’l get my things all planned out ███ ██ ██████ ██████ ████████ ██████ ████ ███ ████ █████ ██████ ██ ███ ███████ ████ ████’█ ███ █████ ██ █████████████ ████████ █████ ███ ██ █ █████ ████ █████████ █’██ ████ ████ ██████████ ████████ ███ ███ ███ ████ ███ ████ ██ ████████████ ████████ █ ███████ ██ ███ ████ ██ ███ ███ ███ ███ And shoutout to m▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒ ██ ██ ████ ███ ███ ██████ ███ ███ ███ ██████ █ ████ ███ ████ █████’█ ███ ██ ███ ███ █ ████ ███ ███ ████ ████ ██ ████ ████████ ████ █████ █████ ███ █ ███████ ████████ ███ █████████ █████████. ███████ ███ ██ ███ ███ ███’██ ██████████ █████ ███ ███ ███ ████████ ███ ███ ███ ██████ ███ ███ ████ █████ ███ ███ ███ ███ ██ ██████ ████████ ██ ██████ ██. █████████ ███ █████ ███ ██ ████ ██████ ███ █████ ██ ███ ██ █████ ███████ ████’██ █████ ██████ ████ ███ ████ █████████ ███ ███ ██ ████ ██ █ ███ ████ █████ ██ ██████████ ██ █████ ██, ██ █ ████’█ ████.███ ██████████ ████ █████ █████ ████’█ ██████████ ██ █████ ██ ████ ███ ████ ██ ████ ████ ██ ██████ ████ ████ ███ ███ █████ ██ ████████ ██ ████ ████ █████ ██████ ████ ██ █ █████████ ███████ ███ ██████ ██ █████ ██ █████, ██ ███ █████, ███, ██ ███ █████ █████ ████ ███████ ████ ██ ███ ███, ███████ █ ████ So shoutout to you girl I see what you’re doing for comedy and for the lgbt community like keep on findingigering women mababby like I love youf or that lemmee have you keep doing that mama slay mee goddess I lvove you queen I love yourrrrrrr work mother like keep that shit going you simply are the one right now and I lovethat you’re having hti smoment so lilive it girl And what else is there to even say toinghitht? Keep going bitch Penis ████ █████ ████ █████ ███ █████ ██████ ███’█ ██████ █████ ████ ███████ ██ ███ ████ ████ ██ ████ ██ ██ ████ ████ ███ and if he aske dme right now I’d say yes yes yes a million times yes, no matter what the question was, even if it woasnt a yes or no uquestion, that’s’ my answer, █’█ ██ ████ ████ ████ ████ ███ █’█ ██ ████████ █’█ ███ █ ██████ ████████ ████ ██ ███ ████ ██ █ ████ ████ █ ██████ ████ ██ █████ ████████ ██ ███ ██ ██ ██████ ████ ████ ████ Anyway you imaigine things like transparent violins and violas but they got their vcoorners painted in brown so you can eat least see the outlines and you know some suggestion fo the former sheen and glossy wooden color that it had... right, right,, you don’t playt hem. You don’t have any bows unfortunately, only fish No bows only fish no way to play yourrrr violins except pizzicato, and a little pizzi never hurt nodufuckingobdy I feel like I’m on a roll right now and I think it might be better to leave while its good so that’s what immm gonna do here. weeks later