The dog is laying next to me, seemingly napping. She’s moving her mouth in such a way that reminds me she’s alive just like me. And swallowing and stuff. And blinking a little bit. I wonder if she hears my typing and is like “hmm, wonder what he’s writing about.” But she probably doesn’t understand the concept of writing. She’s never read a thing in her life, but still it seems like we’re able to relate to each other pretty well. At least I think she relates to me. Not sure how much it is an actual relation, or what it feels like to her. I wonder. I wonder. It’s a strange thing, isn’t it, having inter-species relationships. It’s beautiful, too. I love it.

I’m coming back around to the idea of “owning” a dog. I think it’s almost an essential thing in this day and age. My thing, though, is that I’d want any dog I have to be able to live an independent life without me. I’d want them to be able to fend for themselves. Is that a thing? I’d have to explore that thoroughly before I end up getting a dog of my own. And I’d also want to find a dog who was going to otherwise be put down so it feels like bonus time and like that kind of thing. I don’t want to just like create a demand for a new creature, like these gay people who seem to want to repopulate the earth with their own kin. I think it’s extremely selfish and a slap in the face to our own biology. We as gay people were never supposed to procreate, but there are some faggots out there who are bootlickers for capitalism who think it’s their duty to pass down their genes. But me personally, I think that god or whoever is up there made me gay because I’m not supposed to pass down my genes. Why are you going against the grain in such a way? And exploiting other people’s labor? LITERALLY? Like you have to exploit another person’s literal LABOR. You make a woman or trans man or whatever gender fuckery you wanna say (I’m extremely pro-trans, by the way, don’t mistake me for conservative, please) carry your fucking sperm and then deliver it and say bye. And you pay them tens of thousands of dollars or something. It’s perverse. Gay people, in this respect, are quite perverse. At least adopt or something, bro. And yes, this is all because of that youtube video I watched earlier. I went on a delicious hate-watch streak that felt very anthropological. These people were like “we wanted to adopt, but it was gonna take too long, and then we discovered this company that does artificial inseminations, and we gagged and were like omgggg it’s meant to be asf!” Those weirdos. And one of them had a “Disney dad” shirt on and they got all this Disney memorabilia on their wall. Like I see exactly the type of faggots y’all are. Disrespectfully.

I do think gay people are evolutionarily superior to straight people in that we don’t HAVE to have children. And yet there are some gay people out there who decide to do it anyway. What the hell are you guys doing? You’re trying to subvert your own biology! You’ve internalized your homophobia so much that you think it’s yas and slay to do this whole straight heteropatriarchal institutional bullshit! My god! These people could never understand the depths of their privilege and destruction. It makes me sick. And I disavow myself from this type of gay person.

Fuck the whole virtue signaling thing that I’m tempted to do when I talk like this. There’s a temptation for me to censor myself and say “well, they’re my siblings, the LGBTQ+ community is so beautiful, and it’s inspiring that these gentlemen are going to bring someone else into the world despite all the challenges that face them” and shit. I don’t buy that anymore. It’s not cute. I’m not a one-issue voter in that sense. I don’t have universal and unconditional positive regard for other gay people just because they’re gay. I think it’s a waste.

How would I communicate this to them if I wanted to open their eyes? I’m sure I couldn’t. They’d tell me I’m the crazy one, and I’m the one with internalized homophobia, and I need to seek help, and I’m a fake gay bitch or something like that, or I have a lot of repressed rage from some shit in my childhood, any number of little cope excuses that they could come up with to take the wind out of the proverbial sails of my argument. But I don’t buy any of that either. I know my logic is airtight. I don’t believe any of their rebuttals. I don’t believe any of it. They can choke. Let me have this.