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Pants down in Krakow

I have my pants down because uhhhh you probably don’t care. Anyway the reason is because the pants are just that tight I like getting the relief of you know letting them unbutton themselves. I’m right now in my final alone hour..... the last time being alone, forever. Until who knows when.... idk when ██████ is leaving.... maybe I’ll be happy to have some alone time at the end? But really, who can say? Who does know, anyway? Who knows who knows who knows. Who knows? I don’t know. We’ll see. I’m in Krakow, and honestly, same mistakes tinder makes me feel terrible about everything. I should’ve never fucked around and got on that appp again just cuz I’m in a foreign country. Like really, there’s nothing for me on there so why not just give it up? I think it’s better to give it up, probably...... probably better to just give it up. Do I have anything insightful to say about poland so far? Everything seems to be 20 PLN. I paid that for the train..... on the train from the airport,,,,, the train attendant saw my ticket and was like "that’s for the bus."

"oh,

for the bus," I said. and then she was like "you wanna go where..." and I fumbled it again. I’m clearly still just fresh off the boat and it clearly shows I’m sure. But it would be nice to have some kind of cheeky congenial conversation with someone around these parts. Do you think that’ll happen soon? I’m looking forward to it, if so... and I happen to think it might happen soon! I think it might, I think it might. I wish I may I wish I might. In any case ██████ is coming soon and that’ll be epic as shit. there’s a lot of shit to get up to here. memories yet to be made and stuff. Euphoria yet to be experienced. Movie yet to be filmed. And all that jazz. But yeah walking around krakow and feeling more like I have a lay of the land which honestly I’m surprised at how much of a difference it makes in the comfort level also to mention the fact that you knooooooooow, the fact that uhhhhhh.... Well, right now, first of all, I check my watch and it’s almost nooooon new york time, but for me it’s actually approaching six in the afternonon—— evening, rather. Which is great, because I’m almost ready for bed. Dare I say jet lag will not get me? I don’t know though. I’m sure it will somehow in some way in some form get me..... I’m sure it’ll get me. I had the same kind of hubris, I think, last year with ███████ in Greece. remember? But this is six hours ahead rather than seven hours....... It was some 30+ year old twink telling me he loves Dostoevsky and notes from underground is so him.

Girl that’s not the point

of the book. It’s not supposed to be.... never mind. Maybe it is the point. Fuck it. I’ve been having these thoughts of like totally abandoning society and not being an operative or participating member... but remember how I tried to do that in medicine and stop drinking the kool-aid while still going through the motions and it became paradoxically somehow harder? You gotta buy in somewhat to have a good time in our world. And it’s not like I don’t want to be around people never that or enter superorganisms with groups of people, it’s just the capitalism of the situation which I think I find so reprehensible. But it was capitalism that allowed me to navigate to these unfamiliar lands, true so what have we there? I’m a hypocrite in many ways, I’m sure. I’m sure I’m quite a hypocrite.... But I’d rather be out and about right now. I’d rather be out and about in Krakow. I’m fucking tired but that’s okay because it’s just about dinner time and we’re going to get some dinner and we’re going to go from there.... and shit..... so here we go. The first or one of the first things I noticed about this apartment is that uhhhh.... there’s an ant trap by the window. Which I find fucked up of course. It’s like... of course! really sinister, actually. To have had this time all this time feeling so connected to and inspired by

ants

and then to see that they are technically in some ways....... below us on the food chain. Like we have come up with a way to trick them into getting killed... but as far was we know they’ve done no such thing, they’ve come up with no such way of tricking us. later