Uhhhhh well shit sometimes you ever have those moments where you’re just like oh my god this fucking sucks and i suck too im a horrible person and i suck so bad like wait hold on you know what i mean and like i really just like..... Shit man i feeel like i been such an impostor i start to get freaked out like what the hell am i doing here this is insane to me bro you know what i mean?

this is how my brain networks itself and prevents itself from falling out and destroying itself. Likeeee it’s a good thing i got this shit like if they took out my motor cortex i would probably kill myself except i wouldn't be able tooooo lol damn that would suck wouldn't it..... God i hope that’s not what this life has in store for me but i don't know really like how to not have it in store for myself you know? It is a weird dynamic bro i gotta say it's a weird dynamic.

you're doinnoniongigggg your own life girl you're not doing anything to be liked especially not by just like everyone you ever meet girl it doesn’t have to be so crazy... it really doesn’t have to be that serious, mamas. I don't know man there's just something bout these medschool people... idk i feel weird. I don't know, man. what is atcutaully going on?

you gotta figure it out and i wish i could say i feel sorry for you but i don't! So keep your fucking head up bitch because either way you have to keep living and either way relationships are the most meaningful part of life and shitttttt like okayyyyyy world i'm getting it i get it i'm receiving it you make me have dreams about people and then it's like of course you're keeping in touch with these motherfuckers it's like your dreams are telling you about who is in your life.

What does it mean that i broke his finger tho you know what i mean? What do you think it means that i broke his finger in my dream? I'm sure given any number of pieces of evidence, i bet you could spin me up something jungian. I’m talking to no one in particular here. Someone, i guess, someone with an intelligence. Errrr intelligence in the sense of being able to hold pieces of text and respond to them. Uhhhh yeah..... Sorry, did i make it weird? I feel like i made it weird at some point. Frankly i think that was a little weird of me. But i think clearly necessary like this is how you work through shit and figure out what your life is gonna be, you know what i mean?

So yeah, uhh.... i think i'm already okay with that whole week of nick you honestly like we tracked the arc pretty closely and it's not like i'm totally unaware of what is going on and what we’re doing and how we’re feeling and shit... like i know that it’s a long road ahead still but shit to have one week completed even if you like cried out of one of them and like another day was labor day so it was like.... However you slice it bro we survived the first full week. That’s kinda amazing i should think... like i actually arrived here to this apartment literally one week ago probably to the hour. Like it’s really been one single week in time.

Is that craYzY? I feel like that’s kinda crazy. I feel like it’s crazy. Is it crazy? I don’t know. Maybe it’ssssss crazy . i think it’s crazy.