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New day

Sooooooooo yeahhhhhh. twin I stand by what I said about aphex twin, and if it’s nothing but an inside joke between me and ███████ then soooooo BEEE ITTT!!!! It’s like I was saying to ██████ on the phone last night——and she was agreeing with me——that we don't like being told what to do. Better by far to let people find things in their own time. Let them go on whatever adventure is being asked of them, whatever it may be, the one on which they will embark. Seven leaves of a cucumber plant seem to suggest that yes it is enough of course it’s enough. Meanwhile the war against the second dimension rages on. We continue to be rageful aaaaand full of rage and spite in our hearts and all that type of stuff.

continue!

Well. I think we’ve done enough for one day. remember? This gorgeous aphex twin song is playing as the leaves blow in the wind and the hammock blows, too. This feels somehow like a really important thing, a core memory of sorts. The wind blows, and the sun tries to poke through the clouds, and maybe I'm getting burned right now.

california

There’s one of those big bugs that’s more leg than anything else, and it has these two cunty wings, one of which just twitched a little, and the wings plus the long stick of its body come together to resemble a gloomy face......... the pupils mostly covered by the upper eyelid, if we are letting ourselves get fooled... iiiiiiiiiiit’s one of the chicer things I’ve ever seen, this bug, and the way it... I hear ███████’s voice in my head saying "why is that just a dream?" and "don’t let your dreams be dreams" and stuff... although I suppose her voice did merge with shia laboeuf’s there at the end.

so like,

I’m standing here. I’m having some soreness in my right hip and honestly yeah in my left hip as well. Like where the joint.... where the leg connects with the rest of me, I guesss. Where the leg connects with the torso. And I think it’s a result of walking around for three hours last night. Yesterday while playing pokemon I read this npc dialogue thing that said "if you are out in the sun during the day then you’ll sleep very well at night." I think that’s a bit genius and also true.

Do you notice how like....

I think some rain is coming down. lllllllllitttle bubbles forming on the surface. I won’t be forced to do anything at all. I wont be forced to do anything at all! Now is the time to form new community around new principles, thoughts, and ideas. The rain comes down, the rain comes down, the rain comes down.

Hawk fly tiger run

Mosquitos just like randomly come by during the day now. They’re starting to encroach on the territory of time which was previously not theirs. They are starting to get big for their little britches. Earlier after having felt some bites to my legs I saw a mosquito that looked partially filled up with blood. It’s extremely metal that you can see through their blood collection chamber to the blood itself, that little tiny bit of blood that they needed from me, an amount that will be quite easily replenished by whatever powers that be inside of my body. I don't think it’s plausible to think that mosquitos would ever drain someone of their entire blood supply. limits Is it possible for mosquitos to evolutionarily get larger? I don’t think so. I think there are limits everywhere I think there are limits everywhere. I just watched some kind of ant or some other such diasappear and then reappear seconds later from a crack. These cracks in the rocks, they are of interest to me. I’m sure that many fantastical voyages and adventures have taken place in these very cracks, in this place which I often take for granted. It’s okay to be bored. This is just what it’s like to be bored and also be writing, you kno? I was punching above my station earlier. I will return to my hovel. even when I flop I can still take pleasure and delight in it. Because ultimately dude check out that bird that just flew across the front lawn, up and out of view, seemingly into a tree.

Check it out.

The anthropocentric world... shaking my head as I say it... the anthropocentric world does not deserve my full, complete loyalty. I will not give it my full loyalty. I can be loyal to the people in my life without being invested so thoroughly, tossing all eggs into the basket of human endeavor. Some kind of black eschar looking mark on the back of my right leg....... yeah, I got all kinds of bites on my legs, dude, the evidence of having spent time outside, and I do expect my body to heal on its own without my having to pick at any of these scabby things, without a need for picking. I won't pick at any of it, I’ll trust the process, I’ll trust that it’ll resolve itself, it’ll handle itself, it’ll be all good, you know? It’ll be all good it’ll be all good it’ll be all good.... it’ll bbbbe good and even great, acutally. It’ll be good and even great, it’ll be good and even great. prophecy it’s funny when you read something you wrote months ago how it can have prophecy effects. How it will be true. I said back then that I was going to the woods, and look where I am now: the woods!!!

yOYOOOEOEYYAHA...

fuck them kids..... great opener, doja. It’s all good. It’s all good. It’s all good. It’s all good. It’s all good. And by good I mean okay. By good I mean it’s likeee fine. By good I mean agreeable, satisfactory, it's fine, it's okay, it’s not needing any serious intervention right now. I don’t wake up miserable, I don’t force myself into a circumstance that I do not want to be inside.... I do not join up in circumstances that are going to kill me, that threaten to take me out. He does not need to do it. Why woud he doooo it? For the purpose of satisfying other people’s warped, perverse expectations? Their warped, perverse expectations can get fucked, honestly. I will go ahead and let those things get fucked. Get fucked, those things. Get fucked. Go ahead and get fucked for me, please, wheeeeel. The wheel that keeps us all spinning and spinning, the wheel that keeps us all spnnning and spinning, it keeps us all spinning and spinning, and we get used to the force of it, we get used to getting tossed around like that.

Whatever tf she was saying

Anyways, so yeah. You go outside, step one. You go outside, it’s nighttime, the wind is blowing, you can't see shit except outlines of treeeeeeesssss, and sometimes illusions of hammocks, illusions of..... yeah, mostly hammocks. And then it starts actually storming when you’ve gotten into the real hammock which was adjacent to the illusory hammock. They hung from adjacent treeeeees. Illusory hammock... anyway. It’s not important. If you can get into lauryn hill bro your life can literally change. She can change your life in subtle ways that end up amounting to something real. She said she wrote these words for everyone who struggles in their youth. It’s immediately so heartfelt and specific that I actually fucking get SAD ........ it’s just soooo fucking... man like I want to listen to her so bad cuz it's so genuine it's so sincere. Please god throw that shit onnnnn ON ON ONNN!!! NEOWWW!!!!

Drawing the target around the arorrororororoororwww

For realsies dudedeedeeee for realsies indeedy broski if you making only jobs available be fake as fuck jobs contributing to fake as fuckckkk world and society then like..... then it’s like...... it's juuuustlikeeeee errrmmmmm u know..... it's just like yeaheahhh idk what to even say lol. the whole message is to log off, basically. These headphones really make me feel like i... have headphones on. Wat that about. Take em off and you can hear everything again. Ggggimmme a damn headphone with a wire, goddamn you. we need to seriously right now RIGHT NOW bring that shit back. Bring it back, and bring back bowl cuts..... put the toaster away,,,,,,

unemployed

I am unemployed. I am still, wait for it, unemployed. I’m just as curious as you are. I'm just as afraid of commmmmitment to a careeeer as you are. idk lol..... idk lol idk lol idk lol idk lol idk lol idk lol idk lol idk lol idk lol idk lol idk lol. I pray that god will continue to show mercy on all beings. I feel it every day. I feel the soft, sweet mercy every day I wake up. I feeel it, and that feeling is irreplaceable, and until I can find something to do that allows me to still feel that way.... OKAY??? You know what I mean. You get it. You always get it. that’s why I like talking to you. Because I can tell you're really listening. It’s therapeutic for me as the girl writing this to know that SOMEONE understands me, even if it’s just.... that same girl, just then, right then, in that moment, once in a lifetime........