mannnnnn life is really so beautiful isn’t it? like it’s actually really seriously incredibly beautiful. i can’t believe it for real. i literally for realsies can’t even believe it.

like meeting brandon of barndoors holy shit dude that shit is epic as fuck. like wow you reallly can meet people from the internet in real life and it’s fucking incredible and then you go from oomfs to irls just like that and all of a sudden this person who you knew so much about....

but then it’s like how much do we really know about each other when all we see of each other is uhhh is uhhh you know, is uhhh words? words and beliefssss, and code, what does that all mean? does it amount to anything? does it amount to a real sense of self? like, can i honestly say that i really knew the guy before i actually met him? these are the questions. these are the real questions, the real real questions. you know what i mean? these are the questions that i have.

to be known and then it’s like do i know him any more now that i’ve seen him in real life and seen his height and his face and his hair and his eyes and heard his laugh and his voice and seen him walk from the bathroom to the table and hugged him and smelled him? do i know him more because i’ve experienced those things about him? do i know him more now that he knows me more? now that he’s seen me in the flesh and heard my voice and gotten who knows what impressions from me? could he know? could he really know? me..... me? does he know me? any more or any less? is it possible to know someone less after meeting them in real life? i’m not sure what questions are even sufficient to try to understand what has just happened.

but i knew this guy on the internet and now i know him in the real world and i know him on imessage and i know him in new ways now . and it’s just like... a beautiful thing at the end of the day. to be able to meet someone that you found online and then you meet them in real life and now you know each other in real life.

but then what does it actually mean to know someone? were we friends before we met? yes we were. that part i know the answer to. i know and i feel that we were friends beforehand, and that's why i didn’t really feel all that anxious going into the encounter. i kinda was just like wait hold on... that’s my friend i’m about to hang out with and i’m not fully sure what he looks like but we’re about to hang out and shit...

the main thing is... the main thing is the potential, right now, i think. today was all about breaking the seal, i think, and proving to ourselves and to our other oomfs and to the world that you can do this, that you can find people on the internet and you can create bonds with them and then you can actually translate those bonds to the real world..... to the real motherfuckinggggg world!!! you can create these bonds and translate them to the real world, and then you can do all the things that you can do when you know someone in the real world. that shit is simply awesome and it’s insane to me........... it’s actually literally insane for me to even think about and consider.

think of it.... all the people i’ve met online who i have first...... first met through only text and maybe a couple photos here and there.... and then met in real life. first it was i▒▒▒ and then it was s▒▒ and now it’s brandon of barndoors.

this life i’m living is so random.... it’s entirely random... entirely fucking random. it’s entirely random!!!! like wait what are we even doing? it’s a continuous series of what the hell sure... but some of the decisions are really well thought-out and sat upon for a long time and we think about them and we just like...

n▒▒▒ just asked siri what the weather is tonight... and she’s answering an in an australian accent which is awesome... love that for her. thank you australian siri... thank you for that.

and now i fear i must say goodbye to you and i must now... i must now... what’s it called... what's it called.... what is it called, you know, what is it called? what is it called........ they’re talking about... i think they’re talking about weed, i think... they’re talking about weed and smoking weed, and barny said that ▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒ ▒▒▒ ▒▒ ▒▒ ▒▒ and that made me feel better about this little bender that i’m on now. like fuck yeah dude fuck yeahhhhh i’m loving it broooooski. i’m loving it for realsies. i love weed and what it does to me and for me and within me and withon me. shoutout e▒▒▒.

man i’m really grateful right now and what i’m grateful for in this moment is new friends that i’ve made over the past year. this past calendar year has been a huge one for making new friends. can you believe it? j▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒, o▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒, e▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒, b▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒, who knows who else..... who knows who else. but suddenly i got all these little seeds that have been planted and which i will continue to water, and to me that is beautifufuuulll... to me that is life worth living. THIS is the life worth living. like thankkkk godddddd bro..... thank GOD!!!! we’re so good... we’re soooo fucking back it’s so awesome... this is amazing bro we’re here and making friends and keeping them and taking new steps and finding new frontiers in the friendships themselves and just like... holy shit dude it’s aweosmee!!!! it’s so awesome i’m loving it i just am loving my life right now ....... i love it.... i LOVE IT!!!!

right now i’d like to say goodbye to you though. so goodbye!!!!! and i love you.