Juuuuust don’t

meake me wait forever don’t make me wait foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr don’t make me wait forever don’t make me wait forever dotnt make me wait forever don’t make me wait forever don’t make me wait forever don’t make me wait forever don’t make me wait forever toodoont make me wait forever don’t mkakkkkkkkkkke me wait forever don’t make me wait forever im okyay with beign dumber and getting umber dumber iiiiim also okay with building for its own sake, for just doing shit for just writing words over and over and over and over fuck it who cares this is how it’s coming out this is the proof of life. This is about as pooororoooooof of life as it gets isn’t it ,,, where almost every nanosecocnndd, every possibleel moment in which a deciisons could be egettitng made by the fingers and mind together with thee brain as to which key to press next, you can just telllllllllllll the space between the letters is quite etemmproalallly thin nnnnnn so to speak as it wereeeee and strange to say. Theseeeseee litttleee er...... ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ calls them notihhingisms but I don’t call them that because they do communicate something Terehre is a certain context ttttt for 'so to speak' and 'as it were' eand even 'strange to say.' You just gotta know it when you hear it see t whatever Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc fk cufkc uf ffuucuck fuck fuck f uckf ufck fuck fuck fuck fuck f uck fuck fuck fuck fuckfu fuvk fuvk fuv kfu vkfuv uvjk. Fukvk ufuck fuvk fuvk fuvk fuvk.... fuvk fuvk fuvk... fufkvkvkkkkkoh fuvkkkk oh fuck of hfhhfh fuvkvkckk... You gotta mean it you gotta believe it

i wanna see it

I wanna feel tehtruth I wanna feelel eevery aprt of it every bit and piece of it just show it to me oh just show it to me already Why do I feel like the knicks lost last nighta ndn why did I not hear abou thte result prior Lol I love not being on social media that shit is amazing lie ke le tme knnooottt know about this important piece of information I’m not quite online in that way I ondn tquite get my dailyyyy lashings from the social media I prefer to do nomine in a much more neuuuanced wayyyyy on neocities in bed listening to tame pimpala currents I had tfeelings.... I’m mmm having feelings I have feelings and have long had them I’m sure I always had them but I’ve also beeeeeeeeenso somewhat good at keeping things inside, I keep some things inside I keep m y mouth shut when I feeeeeel iiiii twill not contribubte anything t so ociety by saying. If I were to g o into some kind of argumentative mode.... I’m reallyyyyy not an arguer anymore. I’m not there to argue anything to orwitha nybody What I’ll say is I ii I I ii am thankful the house down to be out of medical school It’s unreal it’s unreal it’s unreal it’s unreaelalll I hated that shit so much and now look at mem I romanticize it now iiii romanticize it i tell myself it’s time to goo back I tell myself you know what sounds raelly good d right now the family mmmmmmedicine residency at tt ttt t ▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ hooospitallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll My eyes itchy for the last night and they’re doing a grand finale orffffa llllergic reactions.... itchyyyy ass motherfucking eyes..... and god bless meeeee god lbvless me the suffering makes me feel so much closer to oyyououuuouooououuouuuuouuuuuuuuuuuuu god... seeking relief by rubbing my eyes I feeeeel your lessonsss that you send me... I feel how it makes it better and also worse and sometimes brtettter is at t eh cost of worse and yououououuuuuuu take both you take it all you take it all I your humble servant hope to demonstrate to you in this lifeeee that I will take it as it comes that I will take anything you have for me, I willllll handle it with grace iw ill handle it with grace I’m being a loyal servant to you knowing that tknowing that knowing that I keep the faith. . knowing faith... knowing the value of faith and the value of prayaer, I continue to show up pp and parary a thit s ss latar here.... kafka said it. Ehs aid writing I s a form of prayer. And he eeee gives me that aha moment of yessss haha I ododooo that... and gives me persmission to go on treating this like an altar like I’m devoting myself to something. Like I’m praying. I’m rapraying, and I pray I ip aryy I pray I pray I ipray I paryaryayrayyy. May I seek to pray even more than I do mnonwowww, may I seeeek to pray an d lead others in rpayers, ,, and..... I already have it inside of me I have that truth in me I have that calling and you can often tell when you’ve got a calling, can’t you tell, can’t you so often tellllll when you’ve got, you know,,,, when you’ve got.... ahem.... right. When you’ve ogot, when you’ve got, when you’ve got. when you’ve got, guys. That’s lal I’ve got, personally. when you’ve got! Am ir ight? herererer ewe are an d here ewe goo... here we are and here we go... here we are ad nd ehre we go last night last night last night las tn tnight here we are and here we go cutting off the umbilical cord which had been froroming between me and this placeeeeeee It’s not sustainable anyway is it.. . not susutainable at allll not with these allergies which have just suddenly come into full force right now all of a sudddden without warning although a fair warning pmay have been the damn dog lying on top of me for that long.... and I almost wonder if a shower i s required right now, iffff I actually NEEED a shower or at least a face wash...... yes.. middle way.... cuz goddamn dude I’m so gclose to god in terms of allergies right now.

brb.

Holy fucking shit this is like inside my shit right now dude my god WHAR T The fukckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk is happening rn seriously this is like almost dare I say a compromised situation???? I’m like the allergens usually do not follow me into the fucking room but they’ve sure followed me into this space..... and I can’t tell genuinely like is it onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn my person and I need to shower to get it all off or like what the fuck is the tea like this shit is not ttttt sustainalble like is aid but it’s liookign like it’s nto even workable lkee can I evensnnn sleep here tonight or is my throad closing up? Is theeeeeee all of it just like starting to catch up o to me? Its s’ all starting to catch up to me I’m sure it alllll is catching up t om e Don’t get any labs or anything on mmee please I don’t’ think I have health insurance But I’m not going to cosplay poor likeeeeeee some people doooooooooo iknow that ttt fucking.... I’m all set bruh I know I’m al set nand it’s fucking fineee lllllike let’s g et really seriusssister.... I’m talkinga bout someon ie i’m wanting to almost talk shit but in a way that is like beahviroal anlalysiss which is not an excuse for talking about someoene behind their back. I hreally don’t believe in talking about anyone behind their back andeevenn if it’s just to yourself like I iactuallyr eally don’t’ like that you won’t hear me talking shita bout pepeplee in my life lol like what are weeee doing bruhhhhh straight white peple arenot okay I’mmmmmmmmm gay white and I’m also not okay white people in general are not fucking okay it’s the most degenerate species of thing yet, this white race,,,,,, this rwhit e race is the most redegnenenerate species I can think of. Genuinelyw aht species has reached the same level of straight of uppp geneticccc dDEGENERACYCY as white people. Like all these generations of just killing and ocloinzation violence that gets further and further removed from your handssss as the years go on you get further isolated from the acts of violcence that must be committed in order for you to get that thing,,,,,, there is extraordinary violence happening right now that I myself am cosigning, that I’m aiding and abetting, that I don’t cer a enough about to investigate orrrrrr stoppppppp I’m going to ...... I don’t know I don’t know what I’m going to do. Id on’t know wha ti’m dogingogin to do. Id on’t know what I’m going to do. Id on’t know what I’m going to do ... I don’t knwnwow what I’m going to do. I don’t know what I’m going to do .... id ont’ knowwwww what I’m going to dooo io dn’t know what I’m going to do I don’t know wat I’m gong toooo dooo di on’t know what I’m going to ododood idon’t t t tcaeree....... I’mnot doinga nythignw rong.... I’m goodo I’m iigiiiifiigiigifiifiigifiififififfiffififififiiffififififiififididiiaiisiisiisiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimister darcy is to pay mr wickham’s debts and all will be well and lydia will be married at sixteen huh? It’s okay to sound ridiculous sometimesssssthe riiiididuclousness is by desingn this whole air pof professionalismmmmmmmm as aritificiiallll l lllll as any of us “ever believed”

whhhhhhhhw

hwwh wh whhwhhwhwhhhh wwh wwwhwwhwhwwwhwwhwhjjjit started playing let it happen. We cant be starting the album again....... same old mistakes... rihanna.... buying plane tickest to places.. jet s etting is my major.......... and shit and ashit and shit and stuff and shti and stuff and I love my life I love my life I love my life I love my life I love my life iii love what I get to do the organisms I get to see and go super with I like going super you ouuouuouououououuu know me well enoughhhhht o understand what the fcuck I amaying yeah Buut at this point I know it so well so just let me fucking ookockok please just let me cook like I talelel you wat, it’s time for. You to let me cook, And that influuuuux.x.... I’m not gonna know what hit me theyre all going to start coming in drove s hteyr’e goin got or ealize something and tha tis that I got a good thing going here and DON’T YOU TRY TO TAKE ITI AWAY FROM ME dotnt take it down get this shit going you know what I mean, really get it the fuck going, reaolly relaly actually goiiiiiing and getting it the fuck ready for what is to fucking come Getting readydy for what is to come getting ready for what is to come

a tickle in my nose

getting ready fowr what is to come gettignggggggggggggggg g ooda t nots eeeing each otherg Gets up walks ouuuuuuut moonlight cast over your beautiful square face.. just go, just go I odnt want to look at you you’re otooo beautiful the moonlight too milky on your aface FUCK I wanna drin k milk so bad I wanna drink milk not chocolate milk just regular whole WHOLEEEEE milk I want it that’s wat I want right now wwwwww.w.... am I truthful or am I just saying that? Lelet’s go to sleep and fine out.