there is medicine everywhere and i believe that

where? it’s in friendship it’s in acquaintanceship it’s in crushes it’s in friends who you didn’t know a couple months ago

it’s in the diner!!!! there is medicine in the diner

there is medicine in sitting with said new friends for four hours talking about who knows what, achieving a sort of flow state while spinning the knife around on the middle of the table, talking about the flow state itself, talking talking talking, developing feelings for someone you always thought was cute, someone you’ve only just allowed yourself to entertain feelings for, not knowing if it’s going to go anywhere and not caring, because you’ve been around long enough to know that the point is the point

pointy the point of having a crush is not to get married. it’s not even to date

it’s to have a crush

it’s an end in and of itself

the crush is the crush

the point is the point

and right now, in ths is moment, i can say i’m happy

and any anxiety i feel is artificial. there’s no reason for it, you know

i think of the chair company and how he flew a little too close to the sun in the chair world and they started rocking his shit

it reminds me that anyone can do anything and you can write whatever the fuck you want. you can just write whatever you want, ant, so why don’t you? it's hard to know what'll be the first thing i write now that school's out

maybe it'll be meated rivalry and it’s about how my grandpa and d▒▒▒▒’s great-grandpa were rival butchers and they had to move across the state beauase they were in love and it was forbidden at the time

it does write itself, but would d▒▒▒▒ look kindly upon my writing such a piece of smut about his own family member, and is it not too on the nose?

but there are those things that s▒▒ and i have talked about how eating meat is such a masculine thing to do and it’s all tied up in gender

so like the sex scenes in the meat lockers are going to be feral and there will be some descriptions about how you can’t tell the flesh of the humans from the flesh of the cow carcasses hanging from the walls, and how they were pressed up against them and shit, and it’s tongues flicking in circles around assholes you know what i mean

and they're getting into some knife play as well, they’re cutting each other up a little bit, and it's all in the name of sexiness

they go into the meat industry together intiially and then one of them is like fuck this place i gotta go to coney island but lemme know if you’re ever in town and we can meet up and i’ll beat your meat and you’ll beat mine, and then i’lll put my meat into your hole and i’ll move it around, wiggle it and shit, and

pupusa supremacy

i do have some cash i can give you, kind sir, so please allow me

i got cash in my wallet now, which feels good. first person who asks me for cash, they're getting a five, bro, they're getting a five